making it happen

I dream bigger than I can possibly achieve.  My mind is full of what-if's, or maybe i'll do that.  I have come to realize that I have no idea what I want to do yet or where I want to be.  I want to travel, I want to document beautiful things through film (or video), I want to paint, I want to move to California, and then I want to move to New York city, and I want to go to Europe, and I want to do all of it.  

As a filmmaker it's easier for me to say what doesn't interest me.  I don't want to work for a huge production company on some weak Hollywood narrative.  I don't want to make films that people have seen before, i.e. films that fit in a specific genre.  I want to make abstractions, movies that people don't get, that are just pleasing to watch because the image and composition are harmonious and interesting.  When I make narratives, I want the audience to not completely understand, movies are so much better when you have to be an active viewer and think about how the movie affects YOU.  I am intrigued by cinematography, sound design (maybe), and most definitely making art.  I want to stress the making part, like literally work with film (I need to take 6x1). I want to take every film production class that UNCW has to offer honestly.  I feel like this subject of film is so new to me that I just want to learn everything so that I can decide who/what I want to be.  I'm keeping my mind open.